Resolution Check-Up

Some of you might be wondering how my resolutions are coming along. Some of you might not be. Either way, an update is in order, I think.

Regarding running - I just made it to running in 90 sec bursts this week, so I am waaaayyyy behind on the 8 week plan, but I still have been going to the gym with some regularity and 90 second bursts for 20 minutes is more than I could run a month ago, so I'm still happy with it. Plus, I ran outside today for the first time. 2.16 miles in 32 minutes with a warm-up. I still have a ways to go, but I am happy with it for right now.

I have flossed my teeth every night, except one, since I resolved to do it, and my mouth feels great. I need to make a dentist appointment this week though; that will be the real test.

I haven't been making my bed at all. Not even once. This is an excuse, but my bedroom has been a real disaster and I just couldn't face making the bed and seeing all of the other mess in there at the same time. Part of the whole resolution thing is to recognize those irrational feelings and to realize that even if the rest of the room is a mess, making the bed can still be an actual improvement. Little things count. Now that I've confronted my idiotic thinking about the whole business, I think things will start turning around. Plus, since I realized the bedroom was bothering me so much, I made some time this week to work on it a little. I can see progress. I really need a bed frame though. Seeing the bed on the floor just makes me sad. Do you hear that, Crate and Barrel? Put my dream bed frame on sale right now, so my bed doesn't look sad anymore.

Blog posts? They have still been getting away from me, but now it's more a matter of time than material or inclination. Before I just didn't think about posts until time had gone by. Now, I generally have several posts started, but it takes time to finish them. Maybe I need pictures, or I want to finish in real life the thing I started talking about.

Writing for a blog takes a little more work than writing for yourself because, well, you have an audience, or at least a potential audience. In the past, most of my personal writing was done in the form of journal entries, which read as one long pubescent bitch-session since before I was actually pubescent until well after that time. I would write down the things I was thinking, but didn't dare say aloud or knew I shouldn't say aloud. You know, the overly hurtful or melodramatic things that go through your head when you're angry or upset. No one wants to read that. I have looked back at my journals, and even I don't want to read it. It makes everything in my life sound depressing, and worse it makes me seem petty and annoying, which certainly may be true some of the time, but my journals makes it seem like that's the only way that I am or was.

I guess there are probably some blogs out there that are mainly bitchfests, but I certainly don't read them, and I can't imagine they garner much of an audience in general. I like the blog as a format because it is still personal writing, but since I know people are reading it, I try to keep a balanced view of things that I write about. If C is annoying the crap out of me one day, I might write that we are on each other's last nerves, but I wouldn't write in a way that totally demonizes him because, well, his mom reads this. And my mom. And Wiggle might someday. And I will in the future. The truth is a bigger picture, and in that bigger picture a bad day should read as that, one bad day. I am writing my own history in the present, and therefore I have a choice of how to record it.

Maybe that's the whole point of my resolutions. They are little ways to have a better day, each day. Reminding myself that my days are mainly good, lets me actually see them that way, even on the tough days.

Alright, I think I'm done with my whole Chicken Soup for the Blogosphere thing now.