Saturday, February 26, 2011

Weekend Woes

C has a couple of conferences coming up, so he has requested a work weekend. Ugh. Although I would love the extra help and some time to myself that I would get if he wasn't working, what I most begrudge - and do not mistake me - I do, indeed, begrudge - is the nonchalant way he will pop in and out of our days this weekend. The life of the mind doesn't clock out even when it is supposedly watching our son eat breakfast or listening to me talk about my day. On the flip-slide, it is hard to keep it clocked in when the brain calls quitting time, so we may end up seeing more of C this weekend than we originally thought (if his mind does not cooperate with the overtime suggestion). This is not really to rag on C, but instead to complain about my own job a little. I hate that if my mind goes kaput, I still can't clock out. Plus, if I tried to clock out while on duty, it will just mean I will have extra work at the end of my day. Either Wiggle will be harder to feed or get down and/or the house will be a mess, and I'll have to either stay up and clean or toss and turn in bed filled with the anxiety that I should be cleaning.
This weekend should be filled with some errands, much needed menu planning, and some cleaning. On top of those maintenance things, I would like to spend some time reading, drawing the the pastels class I am taking, and doing some deep organizing - under the bed box/closet storage stuff. I remember when a weekend felt like a long time; now it seems to go by in the blink of an eye.
It's a weekend everyday when you put on a birthday hat!

Thursday, February 24, 2011

Bittersweet Dreams

The boy is growing up - fast. In addition to the constant five and six word sentences, and the barrage of questions about his surroundings, and the many, many mini battles concerning boundaries and limits in a day, he has started to show some signs of going to sleep on his own.

The real change has come at nap time. In the past at nap time, one of us would take up the generally melted-down Wiggle and put him in his bed, at which point we would leave the room and sit outside the door. We would also open the laundry room door against his door to blockade him in because otherwise he would endlessly come out. He would alternate between playing and trying to come out or lure us in, and then would melt down again for one or two minutes before he would fall asleep on the floor. This had been progressing to no melt downs, but still trying to get out, mixed with playing. But this week, I have taken him up, put him in his bed, given him a kiss, walked out, and then gone to my room down the hall. When I hear him open his door, I give a shout to go back in because it's nap time, and lo and behold, he has gone back in to quietly play. Today he was asleep in less than five minutes from when I put him in.  Wowza!

At night, things haven't progressed quite as much, but still they are coming along. While he still sometimes comes in for a few minutes in the middle of the night, he goes back into his bed with no trouble as soon as he falls back to sleep. As far as going to sleep, we have a good routine that works, but it relied on us being in the room with him until he falls asleep, generally with me rubbing his back or C snuggling him. Tonight, after the stories and songs and kisses, I said I was going to sit at the door while he went to sleep. He seemed to think that was fine and drifted off quietly within a few minutes.

Now, if we could only move his wake up time a little later in the morning...

Monday, February 21, 2011

Coming Out of Hibernation

I still haven't felt like writing lately. I have felt the beginnings of a number of posts, but can't seem to sit down and do the actual writing. Truly, I haven't been able to sit down and follow through on a lot of things lately. By nature, I am a researcher, or maybe a better description is an investigator. I like to find things, especially things that are hard to find. What this means in my daily life is that I get sidetracked a lot. A simple task like putting toys away leads to finding every puzzle's missing piece (and ignoring the many cars littering the living room), which leads to an internet search for the next size-up of puzzle for Wiggle to tackle, which leads to a search for vintage wooden puzzles on ebay, which leads to me being mentally tapped, Wiggle being frustrated, and the house still being a mess. Most of my family has ADD and would probably categorize me as ADD too, but I think my frenetic-ness is more about having a lot of bad habits and little self-control than a brain-wiring issue. What I do know is that I would like to spend more time living in the immediate present. I want to stop thinking about what I will do when I next have free-time, or when I go to the grocery store, or when I'm cleaning - I just want to do when it is time to do. Unfortunately, this will mean some advance planning which I have a hard time controlling, but I think I am going to take some of the advice I have given C and use a timer, so that I can't spend endless hours derailing. I have a strong desire to feel calmer, at peace, instead of the frustrated ball of pent of energy that I generally am.

We had some really wonderful sunny and warm weather this weekend, and it felt fantastic to be outside in the sun and feel the warm air. Tonight I walked to campus to a coffee shop and it was raining a little, but in a pleasant, gentle way, and the air just smelled amazing. I always love the smell of rain, but in Chicago, I now realize how much cement I could smell, the rain here smelled so much sweeter, fuller. And I can see stars from my back porch, actual constellations, not just a random star that has burned through all of the pollution to shine. I mean, I know there is still pollution and cement here, but compared to Chicago, it feels like being in the country. Maybe I just need to spend more time taking "the cure, " nineteenth-century style, taking long walks and sitting out on a deck in a lounge chair with a blanket tucked around me up to my neck. Some hot springs would be nice too.

It is my intention to post more frequently, but I have to figure out some balance between trying to write more and just doing some kind of rudimentary updates about our lives.

Just know, I haven't forgotten and I'm working on it; I promise.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Tick-Tock Goes the Clock

What can i say? We've had an ankle injury for me, Wiggle's birthday,a couple of snow days, my birthday, a wonderful visit from my mom. I haven't had the time or inclination to write.

The ankle thing isn't major for my ankle, except that I have to wear Frankenboot  everywhere, but I've had to stop running completely for now. I am allowed to do 15 minutes on the bike or some water aerobics until it gets some of its strength back. So frustrating! I went to the gym tonight, and even though I wanted to do so much more, it still felt good to get any exercise at all. A couple of old swim buddies from high school and I are going to train for a triathlon in the fall, so I'd better get this ankle thing squared away soon.

We went and looked at open houses this weekend while my mom was here, and I think we've settled on Takoma Park as the area we'd like to live in. Now to get a realtor and start looking in earnest.

Also, I've been going a little stir crazy in the house so much. The snow, combined with my ankle, combined with a toddler who often requires the work of two adults to put pants on, has put a hitch in my going out plans on many a day as of late.

In other news, I still plan on sitting down and thinking about some personal goals for the year. I know we are already a month in, but time has been a rather precious commodity to me lately, and when I do have it, my mind tends to be racing with the thoughts of the day. Adding the thoughts of tomorrow to my cluttered head would just be torture much of the time. I need a clean head space to think about the future, so for right now my goal is to clear out a small closet in my head. If only I could take all that mental clutter to Goodwill or have a garage sale. Anyone want some mild anxiety regarding medical expenses or indecisiveness regarding a potty training method? I could make you a really good deal.